His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
