DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
