so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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