I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
