You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
