I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Randomize
