i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize