ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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