If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize