HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
