You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
