My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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