I need help removing her.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
