Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
