i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
