So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
