Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize