Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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