I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
