Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Dick very happy bro
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
