I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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