even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
