We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
