I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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