We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
