Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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