Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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