OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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