Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
