And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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