Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Randomize
