Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Come on in and take your pants off
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