Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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