Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Even my vagina gasped.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Someone came in the potted fern
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
