I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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