we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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