so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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