Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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