The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Randomize
