Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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