you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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