lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
