Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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