I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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