Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
