hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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