So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
