my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
