wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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