I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
