no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
