Please, let me fuck your mom
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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